She wanted to marry a man whom she loved. She dreamt wearing a white wedding dress, that there would be a big ceremony, lots of people would be invited and they all would congratulate her, chant merry songs and throw flowers and confetti at her. Yes there was a ceremony, but it was not her wedding. She was dressed in white but that was not her wedding gown. Lots of people came to the party but they came to curse her and to throw stones at her. No music was played and no merry songs were sang; only screams of Allah-u-Akbar filled the air. The only hug she got was from the cold earth in which she was half buried. The only kisses that she received were from the rocks thrown at her that tore her flesh and broke her bones. They were the kisses of death. She was not united with the man whom she loved but was wed to death.
This was a tragedy for my sister’s young lover. His life lost its meaning. He got lashes but nothing more. He could well forget about the whole affair and get along with his life, but he didn't. I recall seeing him standing in front of our house every day, as if waiting for my sister to come out and meet him. I could see him crying. I can only imagine that when he was not crying in front of our house he was in the cemetery, crying over the grave of his love and his baby. One day he could no more bear his pain and hanged himself.
His death was hushed and no one talked about it. Maybe no one cared. He was reunited with his love and his baby. No one can hurt them anymore. No one can separate them from one another again.
It is a sad story. But unlike the story of Romeo and Juliet it is a story that is never told. No one talks about those young lovers. No one sheds tears for them. Not only they were buried, their memories were also buried as if they never existed - their tender love was a shame to others - a shame that had to be washed with blood.
But the saddest part is that according to Islam my sister deserved that death. The elders were sure she would be burning in Hell for eternity. No, I can't imagine that God can send someone to Hell for loving and for being happy. I can't accept a cruel God.
____----****O****----____
Now back to my life. When I turned 18, I was married off to a Turkish businessman from Germany. When I came to Germany I found out that he had another wife.
He is not a bad man at all. He is very kind, but he is a Muslim. He doesn’t understand why Europeans don’t like polygamy, for instance. He doesn’t allow us to leave the home. He protects our honour in this strange way.
Then we moved to the UK. Here we are even more isolated than in Germany because there are fewer Turks. In Germany we at least could meet our fellow expats.
As for my relationship with my husband's first wife, we are friends. There is some rivalry between us, that’s for sure. But I am alone and can’t meet anyone or leave home. Her life is just as dull and empty as mine. We can’t hate each other; we should be friends to overcome our troubles. My co-wife and I are like two cellmates. We only have each other. There is not much room for antagonism or hard feelings.
I have 5 children, she has 4. She occupies a more privileged position within our family because she has a son. I have given birth only to daughters so far.
We are both educated, but she is so obsessed with kids that she has given herself up. I am still trying to grasp at non-existent straws; probably one day I will be freed… I read books, keep myself informed and like to think. She is not remotely interested in reading books or thinking. I am alone.
Sometimes I think of running away, but I have 5 daughters. I can neither leave them, nor run away with them. Actually, I am stuck.
Even though I left Islam a long time ago, I cannot stop praying or fasting. My husband keeps a rod for the disobedient…
When I try to protest, my mouth is shut up with quotes from the Quran. Islam defines our lives. Isn’t it stupid that people live according to a book written a long time ago?
I am not whining about my life but I do hate Islam. At least I could object to certain traditions but Islam preserved the worst in our culture, reducing women into slavery and keeping them ignorant. What can you expect from an uneducated woman?
When I look at my daughters, I pray that they may live in a free world, free from Islam and this slavery.
Ali, you promised to defeat Islam very soon, so please do it.
I know sometimes you must feel like giving up. It seems to me you’ve devoted yourself fully to the good cause of yours. You may feel at times that you will never succeed. I just want to say that you are fighting for women like me. When you despair, think of me and millions of women with similar tragic experiences. Never give up. You are my knight in shining armour. I just want you to know that I am your keen supporter.
_______________________-
Please sent this story to your friends and publish it in your site.
Yagmur Dursun is a pen name. Some details of this story have been changed to hide the identity of the author.
This was a tragedy for my sister’s young lover. His life lost its meaning. He got lashes but nothing more. He could well forget about the whole affair and get along with his life, but he didn't. I recall seeing him standing in front of our house every day, as if waiting for my sister to come out and meet him. I could see him crying. I can only imagine that when he was not crying in front of our house he was in the cemetery, crying over the grave of his love and his baby. One day he could no more bear his pain and hanged himself.
His death was hushed and no one talked about it. Maybe no one cared. He was reunited with his love and his baby. No one can hurt them anymore. No one can separate them from one another again.
It is a sad story. But unlike the story of Romeo and Juliet it is a story that is never told. No one talks about those young lovers. No one sheds tears for them. Not only they were buried, their memories were also buried as if they never existed - their tender love was a shame to others - a shame that had to be washed with blood.
But the saddest part is that according to Islam my sister deserved that death. The elders were sure she would be burning in Hell for eternity. No, I can't imagine that God can send someone to Hell for loving and for being happy. I can't accept a cruel God.
____----****O****----____
Now back to my life. When I turned 18, I was married off to a Turkish businessman from Germany. When I came to Germany I found out that he had another wife.
He is not a bad man at all. He is very kind, but he is a Muslim. He doesn’t understand why Europeans don’t like polygamy, for instance. He doesn’t allow us to leave the home. He protects our honour in this strange way.
Then we moved to the UK. Here we are even more isolated than in Germany because there are fewer Turks. In Germany we at least could meet our fellow expats.
As for my relationship with my husband's first wife, we are friends. There is some rivalry between us, that’s for sure. But I am alone and can’t meet anyone or leave home. Her life is just as dull and empty as mine. We can’t hate each other; we should be friends to overcome our troubles. My co-wife and I are like two cellmates. We only have each other. There is not much room for antagonism or hard feelings.
I have 5 children, she has 4. She occupies a more privileged position within our family because she has a son. I have given birth only to daughters so far.
We are both educated, but she is so obsessed with kids that she has given herself up. I am still trying to grasp at non-existent straws; probably one day I will be freed… I read books, keep myself informed and like to think. She is not remotely interested in reading books or thinking. I am alone.
Sometimes I think of running away, but I have 5 daughters. I can neither leave them, nor run away with them. Actually, I am stuck.
Even though I left Islam a long time ago, I cannot stop praying or fasting. My husband keeps a rod for the disobedient…
When I try to protest, my mouth is shut up with quotes from the Quran. Islam defines our lives. Isn’t it stupid that people live according to a book written a long time ago?
I am not whining about my life but I do hate Islam. At least I could object to certain traditions but Islam preserved the worst in our culture, reducing women into slavery and keeping them ignorant. What can you expect from an uneducated woman?
When I look at my daughters, I pray that they may live in a free world, free from Islam and this slavery.
Ali, you promised to defeat Islam very soon, so please do it.
I know sometimes you must feel like giving up. It seems to me you’ve devoted yourself fully to the good cause of yours. You may feel at times that you will never succeed. I just want to say that you are fighting for women like me. When you despair, think of me and millions of women with similar tragic experiences. Never give up. You are my knight in shining armour. I just want you to know that I am your keen supporter.
_______________________-
Please sent this story to your friends and publish it in your site.
Yagmur Dursun is a pen name. Some details of this story have been changed to hide the identity of the author.
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